The Counter-Intuitive Art of Giving Feedback
Most managers get feedback wrong. We turn it into lengthy conversations, rehash past mistakes, and wonder why our team members seem defensive or disengaged. Mark Horstman, author of “The Effective Manager,” offers a radically different approach that challenges conventional wisdom about how feedback should work. It is feedback stripped of ego, drama, and unnecessary complexity—which is exactly why it works.
Horstman’s model is refreshingly direct: feedback isn’t a discussion—it’s communication. The goal isn’t to explore feelings or negotiate about what happened, but to clearly state what you observed and what you want to see going forward. This means resisting the urge to turn feedback into a back-and-forth conversation where you ask “Do you understand why this was problematic?” Instead, you simply deliver the message and move on.
Another striking element of Horstman’s approach is his emphasis on focusing forward rather than backward. While most managers want to dissect what went wrong and why, effective feedback skips the post-mortem entirely. Don’t spend time over-explaining the impact of past behaviour or asking the employee to reflect on their mistakes. Instead, be specific about what you want them to do differently next time. This approach helps to eliminate defensiveness because you’re not putting the person on trial for past actions.
The structure Horstman advocates is deceptively simple: ask if you can make an observation, state what you observed, briefly describe the impact of the behaviour, explain what you want to see instead, and that’s it. No long explanations, no psychological exploration, no collaborative problem-solving session. This brevity feels uncomfortable to many managers who believe that more talking equals better communication, but Horstman’s research shows the opposite is true.
The genius of this approach lies in its respect for the recipient’s intelligence and autonomy. By avoiding lengthy explanations and justifications, you’re treating them as capable professionals who can process information and adjust their behavior accordingly.
Horstman’s process works best when you have established a level of trust in the relationship through regular one-to-one meetings.
This is one of several approaches to feedback that we are using with our clients to build respectful, accountable and productive relationships and work environments. Let us know how we can help you improve feedback conversations in your workplace.
Based on concepts from “The Effective Manager” by Mark Horstman
